27 Februarie 2006
Yesterday I was watching CNN when I noted that there was a major riot going on at Pul-e-charki prison outside of Kabul, Afghanistan. As I noted in my PDB this morning, that’s the same prison where Jack Idema and his trusty band of Super Patriots are serving out their sentence. Everyone and their brother has been emailing me to check out the Super Patriots‘ website, where Idema has been providing regular updates. Quite hilarious and full of the usual Jack hyperbole. If you read the site you will learn: The prison uprising wasn’t an escape attempt gone bad, the entire purpose of it was to kill Jack Idema! Ed Caraballo, the journalist slash movie maker filming Jack’s heroics, has gone over and joined the ranks of rioting Al-Qaeda and Taliban prisoners,The rioters are holding some 80 women hostage and Jack reports many of the women are being raped. No word if Caraballo is participating in that, although we know he loves getting it on with women back at home. Several Afghan troops have died to protect Jack! Despite the fact that the Afghan Army and police can’t get in the prison, Jack’s amigos have not only managed to get inside but they’ve also given him grenades and automatic weapons The rioting prisoners were scheduled to be released and given 100 dollars cash (in U.S.currency no less) but decided to remain inside, just to get a chance to kill lil’ old Jack Idema, Idema has “satellite” photos from his Afghan buddies but these “satellite” photos do not come from either the Afghan government or the American military/government, AND the “satellite” photos are horizontal to the ground rather than vertical. Amazing stealth technology! Idema’s Afghan buddies also have a UAV Predator, a highly classified vehicle, and the photos taken by it come with a video game type green “crosshair”. I bet you didn’t know that, That’s the “Predator” photo. Since Idema keeps promising to sue us for using his images, we’ll go ahead and show it here. And on and on and on. And Idema’s mini blogswarm is on the case as well, reprinting his photos and words verbatim. He attacks the media (as usual) for getting the facts wrong, like the number of prisoners involved in the rioting, even though the media reports actually say 1,300 prisoners are involved, more than Jack’s own numbers. What’s kind of ironic is that Idema brags about killing at least one inmate. If the Afghan government learns of that, they might try him for homicide and extend his stay in lovely Pul-e charki for a few more years.
Idema promises to have “satellite video” of the prison revolt but so far none has been put up. I guess their “satellite” isn’t working as it skims 5 feet over the earth’s surface, taking photographs mainly from outside the prison. Said “satellite” is apparently an ordinary video camera.
Last month 7 Taliban prisoners escaped from this jail. And now Idema has “guns and grenades” so we’re all still mighty curious when he himself is going to leave this prison. But maybe he’s used to a steady diet of rice and Lipton Cup-A-Noodles and Bollywood movies on the old tube, sippin’ on some hot mint tea after a hard day’s work of bossing around his loyal troops.
And why not? He’s got his Afghan servants to do his bidding over there and in the jail he’s a mini “king” of sorts. Before his arrest he was the leader of just 7 people as they drove around looking for taxi drivers to interrogate. Now he’s commanding whole squadrons of Afghans as they run the palace at Pul-e-Charki. And if he came back to America he’d be looking at time in a prison where they don’t let you rest your feet on Persian carpets or use satellite phones to conduct media
interviews.
Idema’s right about one thing – the hapless Afghan troops aren’t sure what to do. So far they’ve just surrounded the prison. Media reports say that only 350 or so of the 1,300 prisoners involved are Taliban or Al-Qaeda, with the rest being there for “ordinary” crimes. Meanwhile electricity, water and food supplies have been cut so it’s just a matter of time before they will start negotiating.
Idema says the prisoners were rioting in an attempt to kill him but actually it seems like they are mostly upset at receiving unfair sentences. That sounds a lot more believable to me as the Afghan court system leaves a lot to be desired. Our guess is that within 24 hours, the Afghan gov’t will either negotiate some kind of compromise or more probably will just enter the prison with guns blazing. A dozen or so people will get killed and Idema will of course take credit for whatever goes well and blame Karzai/the U.S./the media for whatever doesnt. But what do we know?
Sounds like Idema’s having the time of his life. You can just hear the glee in his voice as he is once again the center of attention. The last good riot in Pul-e-charki was in December 2004 and it’s been a mighty lonesome year for the Super Pats.
Peace
-Soj
Yesterday I was watching CNN when I noted that there was a major riot going on at Pul-e-charki prison outside of Kabul, Afghanistan. As I noted in my PDB this morning, that’s the same prison where Jack Idema and his trusty band of Super Patriots are serving out their sentence. Everyone and their brother has been emailing me to check out the Super Patriots‘ website, where Idema has been providing regular updates. Quite hilarious and full of the usual Jack hyperbole. If you read the site you will learn: The prison uprising wasn’t an escape attempt gone bad, the entire purpose of it was to kill Jack Idema! Ed Caraballo, the journalist slash movie maker filming Jack’s heroics, has gone over and joined the ranks of rioting Al-Qaeda and Taliban prisoners,The rioters are holding some 80 women hostage and Jack reports many of the women are being raped. No word if Caraballo is participating in that, although we know he loves getting it on with women back at home. Several Afghan troops have died to protect Jack! Despite the fact that the Afghan Army and police can’t get in the prison, Jack’s amigos have not only managed to get inside but they’ve also given him grenades and automatic weapons The rioting prisoners were scheduled to be released and given 100 dollars cash (in U.S.currency no less) but decided to remain inside, just to get a chance to kill lil’ old Jack Idema, Idema has “satellite” photos from his Afghan buddies but these “satellite” photos do not come from either the Afghan government or the American military/government, AND the “satellite” photos are horizontal to the ground rather than vertical. Amazing stealth technology! Idema’s Afghan buddies also have a UAV Predator, a highly classified vehicle, and the photos taken by it come with a video game type green “crosshair”. I bet you didn’t know that, That’s the “Predator” photo. Since Idema keeps promising to sue us for using his images, we’ll go ahead and show it here. And on and on and on. And Idema’s mini blogswarm is on the case as well, reprinting his photos and words verbatim. He attacks the media (as usual) for getting the facts wrong, like the number of prisoners involved in the rioting, even though the media reports actually say 1,300 prisoners are involved, more than Jack’s own numbers. What’s kind of ironic is that Idema brags about killing at least one inmate. If the Afghan government learns of that, they might try him for homicide and extend his stay in lovely Pul-e charki for a few more years.
Idema promises to have “satellite video” of the prison revolt but so far none has been put up. I guess their “satellite” isn’t working as it skims 5 feet over the earth’s surface, taking photographs mainly from outside the prison. Said “satellite” is apparently an ordinary video camera.
Last month 7 Taliban prisoners escaped from this jail. And now Idema has “guns and grenades” so we’re all still mighty curious when he himself is going to leave this prison. But maybe he’s used to a steady diet of rice and Lipton Cup-A-Noodles and Bollywood movies on the old tube, sippin’ on some hot mint tea after a hard day’s work of bossing around his loyal troops.
And why not? He’s got his Afghan servants to do his bidding over there and in the jail he’s a mini “king” of sorts. Before his arrest he was the leader of just 7 people as they drove around looking for taxi drivers to interrogate. Now he’s commanding whole squadrons of Afghans as they run the palace at Pul-e-Charki. And if he came back to America he’d be looking at time in a prison where they don’t let you rest your feet on Persian carpets or use satellite phones to conduct media
interviews.
Idema’s right about one thing – the hapless Afghan troops aren’t sure what to do. So far they’ve just surrounded the prison. Media reports say that only 350 or so of the 1,300 prisoners involved are Taliban or Al-Qaeda, with the rest being there for “ordinary” crimes. Meanwhile electricity, water and food supplies have been cut so it’s just a matter of time before they will start negotiating.
Idema says the prisoners were rioting in an attempt to kill him but actually it seems like they are mostly upset at receiving unfair sentences. That sounds a lot more believable to me as the Afghan court system leaves a lot to be desired. Our guess is that within 24 hours, the Afghan gov’t will either negotiate some kind of compromise or more probably will just enter the prison with guns blazing. A dozen or so people will get killed and Idema will of course take credit for whatever goes well and blame Karzai/the U.S./the media for whatever doesnt. But what do we know?
Sounds like Idema’s having the time of his life. You can just hear the glee in his voice as he is once again the center of attention. The last good riot in Pul-e-charki was in December 2004 and it’s been a mighty lonesome year for the Super Pats.
Peace
-Soj
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